So I've seen Jenna's and Phil's photos from Africa, and I've seen people's photos from East Asia, and I guess I can't help but compare our experiences. Don't get me wrong -- I definitely believe in the value of the work I'm going into. And a lot of it is and will be dull, difficult, and repetitive, but that's the nature of a lot of meaningful endeavors. Every valuable experience will have its share of days without thrills or cheer.
There are just days when I want to feel like I'm making a difference.
Some days I want to go to Africa. Or the inner city. Some days I want to be Jerry Maguire. There's an exchange from the movie Platoon where one character mockingly calls another one a "crusader," and I think that sentiment often appeals to me.
Which is why I've thought about the Peace Corps and third world aid, I've thought about becoming a high school teacher, I've thought about joining the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ, I've thought about seminary, I've thought about a lot of things. The best times of my life have been volunteering to make a difference. The Boy Scouts was the most valuable experience I had growing up, and the reason I loved it was that I was having fun and doing something meaningful every time I did something with the Boy Scouts, be it teaching leadership or showing boys how to perform first aid, or organizing community service, or helping promote nature conservation. Church in the Park and ministry with Houston's homeless was one of the best experiences I had at Rice. I had a terrific time in El Salvador because we were really doing some good work for the small village of El Pital. I like being a tourist, but I've always loved doing things more than watching them.
I wonder sometimes how much of that is me needing to feel useful. Because that would be selfish. People in other countries and cultures didn't sign up to be an "experience" for me. Any profession offers the chance to do meaningful work. I don't want to be an engineer, but engineers do invaluable work to make our cars safer, our buildings sturdier, our water cleaner, our infrastructure more efficient, and our society better supported by improved technologies. That's certainly no less important than helping put together some concrete bricks in Central America, and if it were, I couldn't really be the judge of that.
After some thought, though, I don't think I really need to feel useful. I think I really just want to be useful, and I want to be sure that my life is being spent to good use. The distinction is subtle, but it's there.
Is it ironic to think about this issue so much while employed in a profession that most people by default associate with value and purpose? Yes, and no. That discussion probably won't go online, but you can ask me about it.
I think if you're like me, you've wanted to go to Africa before. But if you're going to be honest about it, even the people in Africa probably want to go to Africa at some point too.
ADDENDUM:
The Grace Bible Church sermon for this week, "The Glory of the Routine" actually helped a lot. God is faithful, and I'm glad He sometimes gives immediate answers when we feel like we need them.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
About Me
Why?
Some people keep prayer journals, to archive their thoughts and experiences with God and with life. I think I'd lose an actual journal if I kept one, but it's a lot harder to misplace the Internet. So here are my thoughts about God and about life. I am not always right, but I am always honest. I put them online because I think real community begins when we open doors that we normally keep shut.
3 comments:
I too share your desire to be useful, to lend a helping hand. But I fear for me, the problem lie in the fact that I often use such actions as a form of self-justification, showing other people my righteousness through service. This justification tramples upon and insults the Cross of Christ. Despite the good works, the motivations are wrong, and I make an effort to avoid them.
I've found that, in the past two years, the burden of serving the poor and suffering has been weighing upon me. Though my work with CASA and hurricane relief this summer has got me started, I always feel that I need to do more. Lately I've been contemplating the obligations of a Christian, especially in our new globalized society, to the disadvantaged. Are all Christians called to make great sacrifices for their fellow hurting man, or just some, while others have different callings? How far are we to go in avoiding joining the oppressors (e.g. boycotting all goods made in China)? These are a few of the many questions I'm starting to have.
I sometimes excuse my poor record of service by thinking that I lacked opportunity, or had "disaster fatigue" (google it), but that is simply not true, if I'm honest with myself. I must be more active in seeking out ways to show Christ's compassion. But in envisioning what I might do in the future, I'm crippled by the fact that I would have no idea how to begin serving people who need it, so I may just have to humbly follow in the footsteps of others until I can learn how to lead and make a bigger impact.
I know what you mean. Working in consulting this summer has made the degrees of separation between myself and the real world pretty distant. If you close one eye and squint the other, you could say that I help businesses run better and make people's jobs easier. But then again, sometimes our company recommends that the company lay off some of its employees.
Nonetheless, it's pretty hard for me to see my "usefulness" in God's economy in this job. However, I do think that He has me there for a specific purpose, and that I am bringing glory to His name by being there and living out the Gospel.
I think that service should be another means to worship Christ. It's dangerous to make little of serving the poor and disadvantaged, and it's equally dangerous to act as if there's nothing else on God's mind. Such thinking has led to theologies of liberation that in my opinion become tainted with our own perspectives too quickly.
I don't know really where to draw the line, though. Some would say that you shouldn't do service to the poor without presenting an opportunity for the Gospel--indeed, what use is giving someone temporary relief if we don't lead them to Living Water? Then again, others would dismiss that as impractical, saying that actions speak louder than words and that to truly have people listen to us when the time is right, we must serve without beating them over the heads with a Bible. There's a right way somewhere in between--it's just difficult for me to flesh out.
Great topic. Thanks for sharing!
-P
So I listened to the sermon, and overall thought its message was good and powerful. BUT...I think there is a danger in people taking it the wrong way, in using it as an excuse. There is a danger in people using the concept of being able to glorify God in everything to be self-indulgent in their choices. "I don't need to focus on service and evangelism," one may say, "because I can glorify God with my golf game."
The danger comes in, I suppose, with not knowing exactly God's calling. The reality is that some don't have the opportunity to serve and minister, some are poor in material and spirit themselves, and God is no less pleased with them who glorify Him even in working in rice paddies all day. But some, notably us, DO have immense opportunity for His service and glory, and it can't be side-stepped by pursuing our own career goals and using "doing it for God's Glory" as an excuse. Can you golf for the glory of God? Probably, but you better be VERY sure that's His will for you before you spend your thousands of dollars and years of time.
That said, this was an amazing message and reminder of the power of doing things "useful" in the seemingly mundane, especially the example given of Jesus. I suppose what has to be focused on is, as the preacher started with, abiding in Him and having the heart of a servant, rather than pursuing our own goals or trying to make ourselves feel useful.
Finally, I'm glad that low GPA's are no longer a barrier to the Gospel at Rice!
Post a Comment